In the heat of the moment, many of us resort to being defensive, angry, or, worse, attacking the person providing the critique. Truth is, we are aware of the benefits of constructive criticism. Without it, how else would we recognize our own shortcomings? However, it is the way we handle ourselves when receiving constructive criticism that can be a bit ugly, especially if it is work-related, right?
A Guide To Handle Constructive Criticism
So how can one learn to stop being so defensive? Use these 5 approaches to handle constructive criticism from your manager or peers at work in a diplomatic and graceful manner the next time.
1. Stop Yourself From Reacting
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Now, your brain is truly working at its peak. Before you dive deep into the earth’s core, try to find the most appropriate response to the criticisms made– stop.
Stop yourself from trying to react to the comments you are receiving. There are situations in life where we are required to stay calm, and this is one of them. The reason is that criticisms are the results of something you have done. Be it true or the other way around, the point is, when the other person is pouring out an earful, stay calm.
2. Listen For Understanding
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You have avoided reacting, which means your brain has listened to you. Well done!
You should be able to focus by now. Take mental notes on what you have to improve in order to not repeat your mistakes in the future. You don’t want to go through this again, do you? At this stage, you should try to understand where the person is coming from. Do not overanalyze or question their feedback, yet. That way, you can avoid being confused during the next stage.
3. Remember The Details
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You now have a brief window of time to immediately remind yourself of the advantages of constructive criticism. Remind yourself that these criticisms are meant to help you live up to the standards set by your management.
Additionally, you ought to control your reactions towards the person giving the critique. Receiving criticism from a peer, (especially when they are being passive-aggressive) can be difficult, but keep in mind that their attitude does not cancel the fact that they are providing helpful feedback.
4. Request For Time To Process
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This is the most challenging part. When you notice that the session is coming to an end, request for a time for yourself. Avoid trying to immediately respond or defend yourself.
After you are dismissed, this time should be used to process and reflect all the information you just received. Some may need to take a longer time before they are able to get their heads straight before processing the information. Take as much time as you need. Be it anger, disappointment, or sadness, embrace those feelings to clear your head before you begin re-evaluating yourself.
5. Ask Questions For Clarity
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It’s time to consider the feedback, assuming you have made peace with the situation. At this point, you should definitely seek clarification and offer your own viewpoint. Ask questions to get to the root of the real problems being highlighted. For instance, if the person criticized the way you are late to an important meeting, instead of getting offended, ask clarifying questions to:
- Understand the issue
- Acknowledge the feedback
- Find out whether you have unknowingly done the mistake in the past
- Look for concrete solutions from them
We can’t get better at our work without criticism, which makes it important to learn how to handle it. It is sometimes the only way for us to find out about our shortcomings. Although it is almost like a reflex for us to be defensive when someone attacks us, we need to know that we could also be risking the opportunity to better ourselves. If you think about it, giving criticisms takes a lot of courage too. Always choose to see it positively. Could be a life-changer!
